Now it's the old man's turn, as we celebrate dads all year round!
Father's Day: How It All Began by Rich Rodriguez
This story was first written back in 2000, when the author was at another church and wrote it for a Father's Day service that year.
Skip Heitzig, senior pastor of New Mexico's Calvary of Albuquerque church, said that when God's about to do something good, He will call a man, but when He's planning something really great, He will use a woman. So with all the emphasis on Father's Day with ties, sports, barbeques and all that wonderfully tradional he-man stuff, it may surprise you that the person responsible for creating this holiday a century ago was a woman.
In Spokane, Washington back in 1909, a year after the first Mother's Day in Grafton, West Virginia, Sonora Louise Smart Dodd heard a sermon at her church about the merits of Mother's Day, and of setting aside a day to honor one's mother. She got the idea for doing the same thing for fathers as well, and especially for her own father, William Jackson Smart, who raised her and her five siblings by himself after her mother died in childbirth in 1898.
On June 19, 1910, with the support of the Spokane Ministerial Association and the local YWCA, the first Father's Day was celebrated in the city of Spokane. The original date was actually the 5th, Dodd's father's birthday, but it was pushed back to the 15th because there wasn't enough time to prepare.
The momentum for Father's Day caught on across the United States and Canada, with many resolutions over the years in our country to make it a national holiday. However, it wasn't until 1972 when Congress officially recognized it and President Richard Nixon signed a proclamation declaring the third Sunday of every June as Father's Day.
Mrs. Dodd never knew her mother, but she loved her father very much, as evidenced with her drive to give fathers their due with a national day of their own. And because of that love, today fathers around the world are recognized for their efforts and dedication to their families.
A Father is... by Rich Rodriguez
This story was first written back in 2000, when the author was at another church and wrote it for a Father's Day service that year. It has been updated with other fatherly attributes over the years.
A father is:
Dadsense song by Anita Renfroe; everything else by Rich Rodriguez :)
In 2007 Anita Renfroe, a veteran Christian comedienne, came up with a nearly three-minute song of momisms set to the tune of the "William Tell Overture", also known as the theme song from "The Lone Ranger". With 15 million hits on the YouTube video and counting, the popularity of "Momsense" earned Renfroe a home on ABC's "Good Morning America" doing features looking at the lighter side of motherhood.
However, a lot of men emailed her asking for equal time. Thus, she came up with the sequel, "Dadsense". It's much shorter than "Momsense", but the story behind it makes it worth watching.
The real heart of the "Dadsense" video is a monologue in which Renfroe explains all the difficulties she had researching the appropriate dadisms to write in since she as woman was "underqualified" to dish them out herself, and offers an apology if it doesn't sound too convincing.
And if you think Renfroe flaked out on "Dadsense", then make yourself feel better by tabbing to "Dawn of the Dadisms".
Dawn of the Dadismscompiled by Rich Rodriguez
This was originally written by the author in 2000 when he was at another church. It was posted to this site in 2004 been annually updated ever since... or at least Rich tries to do that since a lot of dads like this list. :)
This is our annual list of dadisms, those famous quotes we heard our fathers say when we were growing up, or are catching ourselves say if we are now dads ourselves. To give credit where credit is due, many of these dadisms are from the Parenting Resource Center of Austin, Minnesota and Father's Day Celebration in India. The new additions are courtesy of the message boards at DisneyFamily.com and other sources.
So how many times have you heard dear ol' Dad quote any of the following?
Out-of-Season Dadisms from 2013 when Rich Redesigned This Website and was Guilt-Ridden to Add More :)“If you believe that, I’ll sell you the deed to the Brooklyn Bridge.”
While playing with his iPad: "Keep talking, I'm listening to you."
"My house, my rules!"
"Just do it." (said by dads long before Nike started using it as a slogan circa 1986.)
When dad disagrees with you: "Go suck an egg."
While watching the football game on the big flat-screen TV: "Keep talking, I'm listening to you."
“Because? Because WHY!?"
When his child is trying to lie to him: "You think I was born yesterday?"
The Dadisms from 2011“I may not always be right, but I’m never wrong!”
“Don’t do as I do, do as I tell you to.”
“How can I soar like an eagle when I am surrounded by turkeys?”
"Just accept that on some days, you're the pigeon, and on some days, you're the statue."
"Drive carefully. It's not only cars that can be 'recalled' by their Maker."
"We're not lost, we're taking the scenic route!"
“On a dog sled team, like in life, if you’re not the lead dog then the scenery seldom changes.”
"If you don't like what your mother cooked, Burger King is on the corner. Hope you have money, or learn to cook."
To his son after a breakup with a girlfriend: "How long are you going to let her control you?"
"If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again it was probably worth it."
"We could learn a lot from crayons... Some are sharp, some are pretty, and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box."
All The Other Dadisms...
"No, we're not there yet."
"We're not lost. I'm just not sure where we are."
"You call that noise MUSIC?"
"Didn't you just get your allowance?"
"You're grounded until the end of the world, or until I say different, whichever comes first."
"Whatever you're thinking... don't do it."
"Am I talking to a brick wall?"
"Shape up or ship out... and there ain't no boats leaving!"
"Here's the deal..."
"Don't give me any of your lip, young lady."
"I told you, keep your eye on the ball."
"I feel for you, but I can't reach you from here."
"Young lady, you'd better straighten up--and DON'T roll your eyes at me!
Angry teenager: "I'll never speak to you again!"
Dad: "Promises, Promises!" or "Is that a threat, or a promise?" or "Famous last words!"
On giving us the car keys: "Have it home before midnight... and that tank had better be full."
Dad: "C'mon! You throw like a girl."
His tomboy daughter: "But Dad, I AM a girl!"
Dad: "That's no good reason for an excuse."
"Go ask your mother."
"I wasn't asleep; I was watching that channel!"
When asked by his kid to buy him or her a cell phone: "RME!" or "LOL!"
"When I was a kid, we were so poor I ate dirt was glad to have it!"
"Don't make me pull over the car!"
"Always say 'please' and 'thank you'. That way, you get more."
"Sit up straight, knucklehead!"
"What do I look like, Bank of America?"
"Sorry. Not negotiable."
To his son: "Son, don't ever get married. And tell that to your kids."
Again to his son: "Big boys don't cry."
To his daughter: "Men are like buses. Just wait on the corner and another one will come along."
Again to his daughter: "You know you're always gonna to be Daddy's little girl."
"I hope you learned something from this."
"Fatherhood is not a popularity contest."
"The couch is not a jungle gym."
"I never had a car when I was your age, and I turned out just fine."
And if you're a dad yourself and find yourself saying any of the above..."Oh no! I'm turning into my father!"
And we know, deep down inside, just like mom, he bugs us because he really loves us.
In Tha Muthahood song written and performed by Anita Renfroe
In 2007 Christian comedienne Anita Renfroe had the whole world laughing to her song "Total Momsense", in which she fired off in three minutes all the momisms a mother would say in a 24-hour period to the tune of the "William Tell Overture" (aka the theme to "The Lone Ranger"). Four years later she did it again when she posted on her official YouTube channel a music video called "In Tha Muthahood", this time around setting the people straight about the realities of motherhood against the ideal TV moms we grew up watching.
What made this second song go viral so quickly was that it was a hip-hop song--a 49-year-old white evangelical Christian mom from suburban Atlanta is representing her hometown in authentic sports jerseys while dropping rap lyrics that shocked her younger fans and won their respect. Along the way she parodies Pixar's iconic Dancing Baby with a brood of 3-D animated toddlers that seem to multiply throught the video, the stereotypical pearl-wearing TV moms from the 1950's and 1960's, "The Brady Bunch", 1970's fashions, and the over-the-top swag worn my many female rappers. It was totally unexpected from a squeaky-clean pastor's wife from the South, and it won Anita a whole new group of fans, which her website calls "Fanitas".
The lyrics are as follows...
Once upon a time
when I was just a little girl
I couldn't wait to grow up
Rock somebody's world
Get a husband and a hizzouse
and a happy family
like the mom who made it
look so easy on my TV:
June Cleaver, Libby Walton,
Claire Huxtable, Mrs. C,
Lovely ladies and their babies,
even stepmom Carol Brady had it
Always right, kept it tight
no matter what went wrong
Packed their lunches every day
in a brown sack,
Had supper on the table every
Wore the pearls while they
dusted off the knick-knacks.
Picket fence, perfect kids
And time to chill-lax.
But the writers out in Hollywood
must be wacked! Oh yeah!
They kind of failed to tell us the facts.
What they shoulda said is
"Hey, If you adopt or give birth
you move into the craziest place
on this Earth!"
It's called Tha Muthahood!
Hey you got you some kids
Yeah, Tha Muthahood
You sleep life hits the skids
You in Tha Muthahood
Yeah, you in it for real
Don't let 'em hit you when they
rate you in your Mom-mobile.
In Tha Muthahood
We ain't afraid of your germs
Up in Tha Muthahood
We straight-up treat you for worms
We used to be fly shawtys
but now we're living crazy in
When you were expecting
this ain't what they told you
This is for the moms who
need four hands
in the back of the neck.
Let me break it down for
you honey: give you
a reality check.
Here we go...
So now I wake up
throw the hair up
in a ponytail
Catch 'em riding dirties
swipe it shove it
in the diaper pail.
Throw OJ and Froot Loops
in the general direction
with gummy vitamins
to help 'em
fight off infection.
Check their homework
and their ear dirt
pack for soccer today,
bounce them out the door
so we won't be late.
I drive carpool
at least 20 times a day
recite the house rules
I'm loadin' laundry every day
and every night, fool.
I can name every
vaccine they ever had.
And I can sniff
when the milk jug
is going bad.
I know where stuff is
before they even ask me
It's Mom ESP.
I clip coupons every week
and take 'em to the store
I got Apple Bottom jeans
'cause I sat on a core.
I got street cred
four-square and hippity scotch
you know I'm bad
because I'm chairman
of the neighborhood watch
I got ice for the boo-boos
and bandaids by the box
I'm like the FBI for
finding all the missing socks.
If my kids give me lip
I flip the script
They've got to show respect
for stretch marks they've put
upon these hips
I got a Facebook alias
to spy on my teens
I'm a human lie detector
so just the facts please.
I'm a mama bear
and all the mamas agree
If you messin' with my kids
you straight-up messin' with me!
Up in the Muthahood
Don't let 'em
end up on Springer
Here in tha Muthahood
the only bling is
glitter on my fingers.
In tha Muthahood
We ain't playin'
but we do
if you askin' for allowance
you just trippin', Boo!
In tha Muthahood
we make the sweet PBJs
In tha Muthahood
we bust a cap on toothpaste
thanks for asking
'cuz we're just that good,
takin' names and
in tha Mothahood
Words written by Anita Renfroe
© 2011 Bluebonnet Hills Music (BMI)