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Resources
& Links > Archived Articles > The Best of
Lutheran Laughs
The Best of Lutheran Laughs
The Lutheran Church Basement
by Richard Rodriguez
from Lutheran Laughs, October 2005
An ode to a most Lutheran institution... which Immanuel
First doesn't have.
Ah, the Lutheran church basement!
If ever there was the heart of ministry,
If ever a nexus of fellowship and goodwill,
'Tis not the sanctuary, nor the parish hall,
Nay! 'Tis the basement, my brethren!
The basement, my sistren!
The Lutheran Church Basement!
Why the basement, you may ask?
Ach! Herr Dumpkopf und Frau Dummfrau you be!
Knowest thou not that you don't serve hotdish in the sanctuary,
Nor even a casserole?
'Tis not proper to play poker in the church pew!
Birthday parties, wedding receptions, festivities with food,
Are not to be in the sanctuary
For it leaves a most improper mess!
Proper messes are made in the basement, my friend!
The Lutheran Church Basement!
Black coffee as strong as turpentine,
Potlucks with foods from around the globe,
A place to hang out, to hold a fundraiser,
To practice your German even if all you know is Guten Tag,
It all happens in the basement, my friend!
The Lutheran Church Basement!
And why not, my friend?
Christ Himself is the foundation of the church,
Without Whom nothing really matters.
The basement literally is the foundation of our parish,
So it is only proper and fitting
That the basement is where it all happens, right?
The basement, my brethren!
The basement, my sistren!
Three cheers for The Lutheran Church Basement!
At dear old Immanuel First, where everything is at
ground level, it's three cheers for Modular Parish Hall Next Door to the
Kitchen. :)
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